Sunday, 21 September 2008

A Kick in the Testaments

Laughing is pretty hard when you’ve just been kicked in the testaments! – Or after someone put the boot into your prize assets! But, in time, (and it may take a while), you eventually begin to see the funny side! That is exactly what happens in Amazon’s reviews of the Holy Bible – people well and truly put the boot into a Christian’s prize asset, but though there are a few painful moments, in the recognition of a few fair points made, in the end, you’ve got to admit – some of their comments are quite funny. Here are a few of my favourites:

“There aren’t enough good fights”

“Three stars, because the paper was too thin”

“One of the most disjointed novels I’ve read in a long while”

“Almost preachy in tone”

“Who wrote this thing, Michael Moore?”

“Definitely not his best work”

“Obviously the infallbile KJV stands alone as a paragon of exactitude, percisION, undeniability, brevity, bombastictness and hysterectomy.”

“The first half is better. In fact, you can totally disregard the second part entirely. It was an unnecessary addition. The author accomplishes everything needed by the end of the first part.”

“For those of you who don’t know, this is God’s second novel after the Old Testament. It’s a marked improvement, in my opinion. He got rid of a lot of his previous angst and scorn, and has really begun to show some of the maturity present in his later works. He’s become a much more loving and kind God, and, noticeably, he doesn’t throw nearly as many tantrums as he did in the first book.”

“There were too many perspectives and the story didn’t really even have a cohesive plot. This is the most overrated book I’ve read since The Da Vinci Code!”

“’Revelation’ was pretty weird, sort of like watching “Fantasia” while doing mushrooms, only a lot scarier.”

“Some magic was great like the feeding of one hundred from only ten or eleven fish but apart from that nothing special. Read most but not all of it as after Noer, it was kind of boring. That guy lived for years!! Update: Finished. Good ending.”

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